“He’s able to concentrate when he wants to.” “She’s too quiet to have ADHD.” “Sure, we’re all a bit like that.”
Comments like these may seem harmless, but they can leave a child, parent or adult feeling that their difficulties are being dismissed. Despite greater awareness of ADHD, misunderstandings remain about what it looks like and how it affects everyday life.
One common misconception is that ADHD always involves a child who is constantly moving, disruptive or unable to sit still. Some children present this way, while others may be quiet, easily distracted or frequently lost in their own thoughts. They may miss instructions, forget what they were about to do or need considerable support to complete everyday tasks. These difficulties can be less noticeable, especially when a child is trying to fit in. Girls’ difficulties may be overlooked when inattentive symptoms are more prominent.
Another familiar comment is that someone cannot have ADHD because they can spend a long time on an activity they enjoy. However, being able to concentrate in one situation does not rule out difficulties in another. A child may remain engaged in a favourite game but struggle to follow classroom instructions or finish homework. Assessment considers the wider pattern of difficulties over time and across settings, rather than judging attention from one activity.
People may also interpret forgetfulness, unfinished tasks, or repeated mistakes as laziness. For someone with ADHD, organising belongings, remembering instructions and following through on a task can require considerable effort. A young person may know they need to do their homework and still struggle to get started. An adult may care deeply about being reliable but repeatedly lose track of appointments or deadlines. These difficulties deserve consideration before conclusions are drawn about effort or attitude.
The belief that children simply grow out of ADHD can also prevent people from recognising ongoing needs. Symptoms may change with age, with visible movement becoming less obvious and difficulties with organisation, time management or restlessness continuing. Some adults only recognise these patterns when work, family life or increasing responsibilities place greater demands on them.
Of course, everyone forgets things or becomes distracted occasionally. With ADHD, the difficulties form a persistent pattern and have a meaningful impact on daily functioning. A thorough assessment considers developmental history, experiences across different settings and other possible explanations for the symptoms. Recognising a few familiar traits alone does not establish a diagnosis.
Understanding ADHD begins with taking the person’s experience seriously. Before describing a child as careless or an adult as unmotivated, consider what they find difficult and what support they may need. Clear instructions, manageable steps and patient reminders can offer a useful starting point. Feeling understood can make it easier for someone to talk about their difficulties and seek the right support.
Elaine Kelly
